People we laugh, we joke, we cry.
A back to lean on, a shoulder to cry.
A shirt to blow our nose upon.
The world is heavy, our burdens to walk with.
A shadow broken through darkness.
A beam of light paves the way.
Friends, angels in disguise,
Angels in need.
To reach out a helping hand to those you meet.
If your burden weighs you down,
Offer your hand, and take another burden.
Because, when you stretch out your hand,
Two stretches back.
Life is worth living, because friends carry your burden.
You carry theirs.
Life is worth living, because friends have T-shirts wet with your tears.
While yours is stained with theirs.
Life is worth living, because we are one winged angels.
Friends are the other part that enables us to soar.
Far above the horizon, we thank God for seeing us through.
For friends are blessings we never knew.
For troubles, burdens and sorrows were never such a joy to carry,
When you're carrying it for a friend.
=)
- written by Andrew.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Hahaha.... So says MM Lee! Harken!
On Tuesday 24 April 2007, when MM Lee was speaking at the high profile Reuters Newsmaker event he was asked if homosexuality will be decriminalized eventually in Singapore, Lee replied:
"Eventually I cannot put a finger on it. But I would say if this is the way the world is going and Singapore is part of that interconnected world and I think it is, then I see no option for Singapore but to be part of it.
They tell me and anyway it is probably half-true that homosexuals are creative writers, dancers, et cetera. If we want creative people, then we got to put up with their idiosyncrasies so long as they don't infect the heartland.
We are not promoters of it (homosexuality) and we are not going to allow Singapore to become the vanguard of Southeast Asia.
We would follow the world. A few respectable steps behind."
responding to a question from theatre director cum Young PAP activist Loretta Chen, who had asked where censorship was headed in the next two decades. MM Lee related the issue of how the French topless act Crazy Horse was allowed to operate here to the question of homosexuality. He said:
"You take this business of homosexuality. It raises tempers all over the world and even in America! If in fact it is true - and I've asked doctors this - that you are genetically born a homosexual, because that's the nature of the genetic random transmission of genes, you can't help it.
So why should we criminalize it? But there’s such a strong inhibition in all societies - Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Chinese societies and we are now confronted with a persisting aberration. But is it an aberration? It is a genetic variation. So what do we do? I think we pragmatically adjust."
Haha. Food for thought. The Patriach of the PAP has changed his bitter view towards homosexuality... x)
but anywayz, a few thoughts
1) "It is half-true that homosexuals are highly creative."
Its mostly true, as far as I know... Most gays I know have astounding levels of creativity and boldness of expression....
but, many of us have one thing in common..... -
2) "We got to put up with their idiosyncrasis"
Haha... We're generally quite eccentric. Seriously. But then again, what defines eccentricity is to 'not follow the norm', thus, by being gay alone, we're indiosyncratic.
3) "We would follow the world, a few respectful steps behind"
I really laughed out loud when I read this... the great LKY saying this?... Hmm.. He has a point there, but then he has also given tons of speech on being 'the leader of the world', 'being at the forefront of culture and technology'.
xD
4) "We pragmatically adjust"
OOOOhh!! Haha.. =)
This is the singular, nicest statement he has ever made towards homosexuality in his colourful life.... xD
Thank you Mr Lee!
x)
perhaps there's hope for the white pants after all!
If the PAP do listen to this speech, and follow MM Lee this time..... I'll.... buy a pair of white jeans.
YAAAY!
(author's note : has been wanting to get a pair of white jeans for ages already. =X)
rewind:
YAAAY!
=)
thanks for everything tonight.
somethings make me forget everything.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
10 days left to.... %&@*!@^
omg. I think this week is the like the week which I spend the most, in my entire life....
=X
seriously, I think I need the office 2007 accounting tool to help me keep track of my finances...
bleah~
...
...
...
I was about to make a blog entry to talk some of my thoughts on immortality and time. AND...
SOMEBODY HAD TO REMIND ME THAT I HAVE 10 MORE DAYS LEFT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY!!! *cries*
Ok.. she meant it in a nice way, like-a "lets go celebrate, watch violent movies and get drunk" type of way...
but, I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of distraught..
I'm entering into the second decade of my life!!
I've changed, alot since I was 10 years old.
I'm half a meter taller, 15 kg heavier, and this time, I can break a skull if I wanted to...
(btw. The statistics refers to : "1.71 m, 60 kg and at least 5 more inches around my biceps")
- jeez. listen to andrew the narcissist.-
- I'm not! -
...
But seriously, I don't want to grow up... Its an innate fear I have of being left alone.
The innate fear of change...
I guess I'm wierd. Even as a kid, I didnt want to grow up... While every kid around me wanted to grow up fast and be an adult, to do stuffs that adults do..
I was kinda contented with my BB friends, playing magic cards and starcraft...
Rebelliousness was never my cup of coffee... though I always had a sharp tongue and emotion-wrecking way of arguing, I always conformed back to what seemed the most practical to me at that time...
I guess, in my life... There is nothing much that I regret...
In a way, even if I die now, I can say that I stretched my life to the maximum... Every experience I have now, ever friend that I have, every talent that I can be proud about is a culmination of a series of efforts that I thought was a practical discourse.
or... I wouldnt have done it, of course, knowing my personality...
Everything in life starts off as a struggle...
... a baby struggling to come out of the mother's womb
... an aspiring swimmer choking on water after a few strokes
... a toddler struggling to mouth his first few words
... a student trying out a new language...
... haha... It reaches a point in life, when you break through the front part, that you soar ahead really fast...
I took a really long time to realize this...
Nothing is really as tough as it seems. If somebody did it, there must be a way to do it shorter, a more effective way...
life.
a fragment of reality.
... I still don't want to grow up....
But its not that I don't ever want to grow up..
I just don't want to grow up.... alone..
*hugs*
=X
seriously, I think I need the office 2007 accounting tool to help me keep track of my finances...
bleah~
...
...
...
I was about to make a blog entry to talk some of my thoughts on immortality and time. AND...
SOMEBODY HAD TO REMIND ME THAT I HAVE 10 MORE DAYS LEFT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY!!! *cries*
Ok.. she meant it in a nice way, like-a "lets go celebrate, watch violent movies and get drunk" type of way...
but, I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of distraught..
I'm entering into the second decade of my life!!
I've changed, alot since I was 10 years old.
I'm half a meter taller, 15 kg heavier, and this time, I can break a skull if I wanted to...
(btw. The statistics refers to : "1.71 m, 60 kg and at least 5 more inches around my biceps")
- jeez. listen to andrew the narcissist.-
- I'm not! -
...
But seriously, I don't want to grow up... Its an innate fear I have of being left alone.
The innate fear of change...
I guess I'm wierd. Even as a kid, I didnt want to grow up... While every kid around me wanted to grow up fast and be an adult, to do stuffs that adults do..
I was kinda contented with my BB friends, playing magic cards and starcraft...
Rebelliousness was never my cup of coffee... though I always had a sharp tongue and emotion-wrecking way of arguing, I always conformed back to what seemed the most practical to me at that time...
I guess, in my life... There is nothing much that I regret...
In a way, even if I die now, I can say that I stretched my life to the maximum... Every experience I have now, ever friend that I have, every talent that I can be proud about is a culmination of a series of efforts that I thought was a practical discourse.
or... I wouldnt have done it, of course, knowing my personality...
Everything in life starts off as a struggle...
... a baby struggling to come out of the mother's womb
... an aspiring swimmer choking on water after a few strokes
... a toddler struggling to mouth his first few words
... a student trying out a new language...
... haha... It reaches a point in life, when you break through the front part, that you soar ahead really fast...
I took a really long time to realize this...
Nothing is really as tough as it seems. If somebody did it, there must be a way to do it shorter, a more effective way...
life.
a fragment of reality.
... I still don't want to grow up....
But its not that I don't ever want to grow up..
I just don't want to grow up.... alone..
*hugs*
Thursday, April 19, 2007
VvvIdeo CcoDecS...
x)
haha... I think its amazing how video codecs work. Really, each video codec is like a language. They speak to each other in pictures, but in different languages.
i.e.
Good morning = Zhao An
Both convey the same message of a greeting, but in different languages. The meaning is directly the same.
Really complicated... but I'm guessing its how stuff works...
And each company programs their code to be the most compressable (i.e. easy to understand). But it ends up causing difficulty to the raw language (.raw files).
haha... I guess nobody understands what I'm talking about.
I'm just ranting about the why it is so difficult for Final Cut Pro to render a .wmv format video as compared to a .mov or .raw format video.
Its like,
*andrew is in his usual sleepy state, editing the videos like a zombie (zmobie)*
*click render quicktime compressor - xxxx compressor*
*time to completion - 15 mins*
*andrew yawns*
*counter suddenly increases to 1 hour*
*andrew freaks out*
haha... seriously. For a 10GB DDR-2RAM powerhouse mac editing suite, an hour of rendering is seriously a scary thing to see.
like ow? (the same thing would probably be equivalent to 12 hours of rendering on a macbook pro - and approximately 3+ hours on the school editing suites.)
I hate converting .wmv video files... seriously... even quicktime converters have problems with it.
Bleah.
....
I dont know why, but today has been just a super happy day for me.... I'm like crapped with work, but I'm like smiling and laughing the whole day...
Haha... I guess it must be this morning.
I was like going to the gym, then this guy, probably an intern who just finished O levels, was beside me training also...
I realized that he was copying every movement I did... haha.. seriously...
Thats when I started grinning to myself, its like "I use really light weights, as nowadays I do supersets [i.e. light to max load, then reverse again]".
But he was seriously looking.... almost as though studying my movements...
haha.. so I couldn't help but ask him if he wanted help, while grinning away like a bobcat.
Then guess what was his reply?
"I think your body is great! I think if I can become like your size, [i'm guessing muscle structure, not fats.], I think I'm happy already."
haha... I turned red... seriously..
Nobody has ever told me that in the gym before, especially when I never thought myself as anything...
=X
Well.. haha... That got me really happy for the rest of the day ..... =)
Tomorrow, is the last day for one of the nicest interns in STOMP... also one of the right hand-people of STOMP...
its like super sad lah... I guess that the entire team has depended on him for a really long time. Helping out in the photo albums and stuff..
Now that he's gone, I'm like the only one who knows how to program the photo album script.... and on top of my current workload, its going to be a killer for me..
So.... well, I'm still glad that he came and took off the photo album responsibility for awhile...
Yaay! Three cheers to Benny! xD
I'm going to miss him.. seriously... with all his Japanese wisecracks and Nihon-Go!
Haha... I think I'll buy some nice food from my house area tomorrow to help him celebrate...
=X
dont think he reads this anyway.... haha
Do you understand what is loneliness?
When the wind swept peaks gaze down into the abyss.
Craggy fells gush molten ice.
When you've reach the top,
You realize that nothing is as it seems.
You leave them all behind.
When you think that life could be all that you wanted,
The hammer falls.
Nothing is quite the same now...
You and I think, in one unison, in one soul.
Everything and nothing matters now.
Steal my past, path my present.
You. Could make everything different.
You. Could take away the pain.
You. Could see the price.
I'll find a way........ somehow.
haha... I think its amazing how video codecs work. Really, each video codec is like a language. They speak to each other in pictures, but in different languages.
i.e.
Good morning = Zhao An
Both convey the same message of a greeting, but in different languages. The meaning is directly the same.
Really complicated... but I'm guessing its how stuff works...
And each company programs their code to be the most compressable (i.e. easy to understand). But it ends up causing difficulty to the raw language (.raw files).
haha... I guess nobody understands what I'm talking about.
I'm just ranting about the why it is so difficult for Final Cut Pro to render a .wmv format video as compared to a .mov or .raw format video.
Its like,
*andrew is in his usual sleepy state, editing the videos like a zombie (zmobie)*
*click render quicktime compressor - xxxx compressor*
*time to completion - 15 mins*
*andrew yawns*
*counter suddenly increases to 1 hour*
*andrew freaks out*
haha... seriously. For a 10GB DDR-2RAM powerhouse mac editing suite, an hour of rendering is seriously a scary thing to see.
like ow? (the same thing would probably be equivalent to 12 hours of rendering on a macbook pro - and approximately 3+ hours on the school editing suites.)
I hate converting .wmv video files... seriously... even quicktime converters have problems with it.
Bleah.
....
I dont know why, but today has been just a super happy day for me.... I'm like crapped with work, but I'm like smiling and laughing the whole day...
Haha... I guess it must be this morning.
I was like going to the gym, then this guy, probably an intern who just finished O levels, was beside me training also...
I realized that he was copying every movement I did... haha.. seriously...
Thats when I started grinning to myself, its like "I use really light weights, as nowadays I do supersets [i.e. light to max load, then reverse again]".
But he was seriously looking.... almost as though studying my movements...
haha.. so I couldn't help but ask him if he wanted help, while grinning away like a bobcat.
Then guess what was his reply?
"I think your body is great! I think if I can become like your size, [i'm guessing muscle structure, not fats.], I think I'm happy already."
haha... I turned red... seriously..
Nobody has ever told me that in the gym before, especially when I never thought myself as anything...
=X
Well.. haha... That got me really happy for the rest of the day ..... =)
Tomorrow, is the last day for one of the nicest interns in STOMP... also one of the right hand-people of STOMP...
its like super sad lah... I guess that the entire team has depended on him for a really long time. Helping out in the photo albums and stuff..
Now that he's gone, I'm like the only one who knows how to program the photo album script.... and on top of my current workload, its going to be a killer for me..
So.... well, I'm still glad that he came and took off the photo album responsibility for awhile...
Yaay! Three cheers to Benny! xD
I'm going to miss him.. seriously... with all his Japanese wisecracks and Nihon-Go!
Haha... I think I'll buy some nice food from my house area tomorrow to help him celebrate...
=X
dont think he reads this anyway.... haha
Do you understand what is loneliness?
When the wind swept peaks gaze down into the abyss.
Craggy fells gush molten ice.
When you've reach the top,
You realize that nothing is as it seems.
You leave them all behind.
When you think that life could be all that you wanted,
The hammer falls.
Nothing is quite the same now...
You and I think, in one unison, in one soul.
Everything and nothing matters now.
Steal my past, path my present.
You. Could make everything different.
You. Could take away the pain.
You. Could see the price.
I'll find a way........ somehow.
Pierced Heart, by Cedric
Pierced Heart by Cedric Lim
checking in and making sure you're asleep
making a call to check if you're coming home for dinner
coming through the door complaining about my boss
grasping the hands that aren't there
cooking for two as i eat alone
the operator tells me the number's not in use
my voice echos in the empty house
hugging my knees, imaginary embrace
the food's gone cold, i can't take a bite
the dial tone's flat, your silent voice
the waves hit back, lying flat against the wall
i'm lost and distraught
i'm hungry and tired
i'm weak and weary
the tears just keep flowing
If only there's a way to take the pain away
i'll gladly accept your pain instead
i'll pierce my heart and bleed for you
just to see that smile on you
the day will come when i'll pass away
i pray and hope i'll be remembered someway
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
here i come, back home at last
I cried when I read this poem that my friend wrote...
He dedicated it to me.. too....
Just when I thought nobody understood how I felt...
There's just nobody there... you know?
*cries*
Losing a loved one is never easy...reaching over to your side of the bed
this post is dedicated to everyone who has lost a love one...
especially to the 32 familes of the school massacre...
one heart goes out to all...
checking in and making sure you're asleep
making a call to check if you're coming home for dinner
coming through the door complaining about my boss
grasping the hands that aren't there
cooking for two as i eat alone
the operator tells me the number's not in use
my voice echos in the empty house
hugging my knees, imaginary embrace
the food's gone cold, i can't take a bite
the dial tone's flat, your silent voice
the waves hit back, lying flat against the wall
i'm lost and distraught
i'm hungry and tired
i'm weak and weary
the tears just keep flowing
If only there's a way to take the pain away
i'll gladly accept your pain instead
i'll pierce my heart and bleed for you
just to see that smile on you
the day will come when i'll pass away
i pray and hope i'll be remembered someway
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
here i come, back home at last
I cried when I read this poem that my friend wrote...
He dedicated it to me.. too....
Just when I thought nobody understood how I felt...
There's just nobody there... you know?
*cries*
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Hiro, Heroes.
Hiro Video Clip, Ep5
=)
I love Hiro! He's just sooo cute!
Lol... You've got to watch Heroes to know what I'm talking about, its like THE coolest TV-series I've ever watched in my life.
sadly, it has not ran its time, so the next episode will only be out on 23rd April, worldwide...
=/
Haha... I just feel like hugging Hiro... =) He has a super duper cute personality, but he also has the most powerful power among all the supercharacters in the show....
sigh... I don't think I'd want to have super powers, after watching the show, my guess is that if I ever had a power, I'd most likely use it for all the wrong reasons.
... sometimes, looks doesnt matter to me anymore...
I'm a person who can't survive without love... without somebody to love me or somebody to love...
I guess you'll never understand...
I miss being held in your arms, comforting me when I'm all worked up, smelling you...
Every time I see you, thousand and billion bits of memories rush back like a broken circuit...
It hurts. A hell lot you know!
I live in a vacuum now... I'm the vacuum, absorbing everything that comes close. Anybody, anyone who'd want to hold my hand. To hold my hand like how you did last time...
I guess you'll never understand...
You've made me lose trust in everything I believed could be.
You... were everything I believed that could be...
I guess it wasn't meant to be...
See why I wanted to destroy this blog?
Its because everything inside holds memories to the past.
I don't want to think anymore... I just want somebody who can love me unconditionally, without caring about how I look, or what I do. I just want somebody who loves me for who I am...
Is that so hard?
That I can do it, time and time again? But nobody else can?
... I wish I was Hiro Nakamura, I'd change the past.... I'd erase everything about you. Everything that ever happened. I'll erase you from my life.
It.. hurts... so... badly.........
=)
I love Hiro! He's just sooo cute!
Lol... You've got to watch Heroes to know what I'm talking about, its like THE coolest TV-series I've ever watched in my life.
sadly, it has not ran its time, so the next episode will only be out on 23rd April, worldwide...
=/
Haha... I just feel like hugging Hiro... =) He has a super duper cute personality, but he also has the most powerful power among all the supercharacters in the show....
sigh... I don't think I'd want to have super powers, after watching the show, my guess is that if I ever had a power, I'd most likely use it for all the wrong reasons.
... sometimes, looks doesnt matter to me anymore...
I'm a person who can't survive without love... without somebody to love me or somebody to love...
I guess you'll never understand...
I miss being held in your arms, comforting me when I'm all worked up, smelling you...
Every time I see you, thousand and billion bits of memories rush back like a broken circuit...
It hurts. A hell lot you know!
I live in a vacuum now... I'm the vacuum, absorbing everything that comes close. Anybody, anyone who'd want to hold my hand. To hold my hand like how you did last time...
I guess you'll never understand...
You've made me lose trust in everything I believed could be.
You... were everything I believed that could be...
I guess it wasn't meant to be...
See why I wanted to destroy this blog?
Its because everything inside holds memories to the past.
I don't want to think anymore... I just want somebody who can love me unconditionally, without caring about how I look, or what I do. I just want somebody who loves me for who I am...
Is that so hard?
That I can do it, time and time again? But nobody else can?
... I wish I was Hiro Nakamura, I'd change the past.... I'd erase everything about you. Everything that ever happened. I'll erase you from my life.
It.. hurts... so... badly.........
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Andrew has officially lost 0.08% of his IQ.
ahh. My IQ dropped by 1.
haha.. hmm... I did this test in 6 mins... fun xD
O_o The day Andrew becomes wealthier by $1,000,000, he'll treat all his blog readers to a meal at Crystal Jade Palace...
| You Are a Mermaid |
 You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else. |
| Your Element Is Air |
 You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that! |
| Your Love Element Is Wood |
 In love, you tend to gently dominate and guide your partner. For you, love is all about sharing goals and future plans. You attract others with creativity and vision. Your flirting style is defined by your honesty and assertiveness. Growth and improvement are the cornerstones of your love life. You may focus on goals too much in relationships, but you never come out of them with a loss. You connect best with: Water Avoid: Metal You and another Wood element: will be doomed to a stormy relationship |
| Your Power Color Is Magenta |
 At Your Highest: You energize yourself and push others to suceed. At Your Lowest: You feel frustrated and totally overwhelmed. In Love: You are suprised by who you attract. You're a love magnet. How You're Attractive: Open and free spirited, people want to explore the world with you. Your Eternal Question: "What is my next source of inspiration?" |
Monday, April 16, 2007
Boolah to mac. Moolah to apple.
"There always come a time in life when you have to make a choice.
Once you come to it, you reach a crossroad where either path you take will hurt the other."
- Xaero, Chronicles of Nzbuclef (Elderscrolls III)
ha. I wrote in one of my entries long ago that my mind never stops thinking... Its constantly in motion, churning out thoughts, vivid scenarios and ideas...
Its funny. Maybe thats the reason why I get very restless if I've got nothing to do for 10 mins.
Betcha didnt know something : Andrew falls asleep in 15 minutes if he has nothing to do.
(quite dangerous; imagine he's driving you to Malaysia, he falls asleep on the wheel, and... *overlays ghastly images*)
I think if I transcribed all my thoughts out in a day, the most common word, by FAR, would be "what if".
Lolz, its just me. Before I commit to any action, I have a list of outcomes that I expect to happen, and I get really agitated if the outcome (rarely) fell outside my prediction.
kk. I dont think anybody gets what I'm talking about anyway. Its for my own record.
--
BUT. The next part is for all those who have gleefully told me -
"Hey! I wanna get an ibook/macbook pro/G5/etc etc."
ALL of them. EVERYONE of them have only ONE reason in mind. Because "ITS SO GOOD LOOKING!"
*slap*
Oh wow! Oh look... *drools* the Macbook Pro is so good looking compared to those next to it, (i.e. Dell/IBM/HP).
WAKE UP!!
I'm like really tired of telling people that you're going to regret buying a platform that you're clueless on how to operate, and can run as many softwares as you have toes and fingers.
Jeez! Really... Design vs (Practicality + Functionality + Monetary considerations)
... its obvious who wins hands down.
I shall reiterate why I'm such a hardcore anti-mac person (no biasness here, because Andrew is a video editor at STOMP, uses a MAC with FCP and handles Tiger/Panther OSX everyday.)
1) A Mac is heavy. VERY HEAVY. Ask any iBook/G5 user and they'll tell you that without a proper bag, your Mac can actually break your bag strap.
2) A Mac heats up real fast. Extremely useful for late-nighters, when you need to fry an egg to go with your cup noodles.
[on another note, it might be the reason why designers always looks so good. The mac literally gives a free tan (re: radiation) for the face! - might be another reason why we dont live long either.]
3) The Mac might be on sale, but hell yeah, the additional equipment ain't! Apple's sidewares are like the most expensive in the world! An apple Intellimouse, speakers, CABLES, LCD screen, etc etc - is enough to burn a hole in your pocket - for a long long time.
4) oOoh.. This one is hilarious : "The Mac is immune from viruses!"
WAhahAhAHA!! I never fail to grin irritably at this statement. YUP! You're right! Its immune from viruses! (at least 99.99% of them) - With the sole reason being; nobody bothers to script a virus catered for mac!
Its far too much a hassle, and even if it strikes true, like 1% of the CMOS-end-users will be affected?
let me give an analogy,
"A zoo in Atasland says, 'Our zoo is the best! Because it has the lowest death rates, and thus the highest lifespan of animals in the world!' This being said, they have 2 animals in the zoo."
5) A MAC can't run almost ALL the nice stuff.
Sure, the graphics rock, the 3D motion accelerators are unparalleled ($8000- mind you), but, you can't play DoTA without screaming when you have to hold down the 'apple' key to right click. And scream again when your hero is pwned. You can't play emulated games, you can't play maplestory, you can't play o2jam, you can't play a hell lot of stuff.
Whats life worth living for? *grins*
rant. rant. rant.
I'm a self-confessed Mac hater. BUT that doesnt mean I'm an Apple hater yeah? I think some of their stuff are pretty cool, i.e. Ipod and their up and coming revolutionary iPhone.
SO. FOR ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO BUY A MAC, relook the purpose of buying it.
If you're designer, advertiser, video editor or artist, tai tai sure! Go ahead and buy it, coz you will find it indispensably useful. BUT for anybody else, you can entrust Andrew with your money at 90701757.
And he'll get for you a laptop that is 100% more powerful then any apple notebooks with the same, equivalent amount of money.
wahaha. With a 10% commission of course... haha.
Fly, on your wings. In my arms....
I'll take you beyond time, across destiny.
There can be only one.
If you are willing, I'll crush your past.
I'll shatter it into a new tomorrow,
Every piece reflecting a glaring beauty.
The pain, and the tears.
Seems all worth it now, as a chapter comes to a close.
Reawakening the latent spirit.
Entrust me with your heart,
believe and you will see -
That nothing is truly worth what it seems.
Because nothing is valued so much, as love.
Once you come to it, you reach a crossroad where either path you take will hurt the other."
- Xaero, Chronicles of Nzbuclef (Elderscrolls III)
ha. I wrote in one of my entries long ago that my mind never stops thinking... Its constantly in motion, churning out thoughts, vivid scenarios and ideas...
Its funny. Maybe thats the reason why I get very restless if I've got nothing to do for 10 mins.
Betcha didnt know something : Andrew falls asleep in 15 minutes if he has nothing to do.
(quite dangerous; imagine he's driving you to Malaysia, he falls asleep on the wheel, and... *overlays ghastly images*)
I think if I transcribed all my thoughts out in a day, the most common word, by FAR, would be "what if".
Lolz, its just me. Before I commit to any action, I have a list of outcomes that I expect to happen, and I get really agitated if the outcome (rarely) fell outside my prediction.
kk. I dont think anybody gets what I'm talking about anyway. Its for my own record.
--
BUT. The next part is for all those who have gleefully told me -
"Hey! I wanna get an ibook/macbook pro/G5/etc etc."
ALL of them. EVERYONE of them have only ONE reason in mind. Because "ITS SO GOOD LOOKING!"
*slap*
Oh wow! Oh look... *drools* the Macbook Pro is so good looking compared to those next to it, (i.e. Dell/IBM/HP).
WAKE UP!!
I'm like really tired of telling people that you're going to regret buying a platform that you're clueless on how to operate, and can run as many softwares as you have toes and fingers.
Jeez! Really... Design vs (Practicality + Functionality + Monetary considerations)
... its obvious who wins hands down.
I shall reiterate why I'm such a hardcore anti-mac person (no biasness here, because Andrew is a video editor at STOMP, uses a MAC with FCP and handles Tiger/Panther OSX everyday.)
1) A Mac is heavy. VERY HEAVY. Ask any iBook/G5 user and they'll tell you that without a proper bag, your Mac can actually break your bag strap.
2) A Mac heats up real fast. Extremely useful for late-nighters, when you need to fry an egg to go with your cup noodles.
[on another note, it might be the reason why designers always looks so good. The mac literally gives a free tan (re: radiation) for the face! - might be another reason why we dont live long either.]
3) The Mac might be on sale, but hell yeah, the additional equipment ain't! Apple's sidewares are like the most expensive in the world! An apple Intellimouse, speakers, CABLES, LCD screen, etc etc - is enough to burn a hole in your pocket - for a long long time.
4) oOoh.. This one is hilarious : "The Mac is immune from viruses!"
WAhahAhAHA!! I never fail to grin irritably at this statement. YUP! You're right! Its immune from viruses! (at least 99.99% of them) - With the sole reason being; nobody bothers to script a virus catered for mac!
Its far too much a hassle, and even if it strikes true, like 1% of the CMOS-end-users will be affected?
let me give an analogy,
"A zoo in Atasland says, 'Our zoo is the best! Because it has the lowest death rates, and thus the highest lifespan of animals in the world!' This being said, they have 2 animals in the zoo."
5) A MAC can't run almost ALL the nice stuff.
Sure, the graphics rock, the 3D motion accelerators are unparalleled ($8000- mind you), but, you can't play DoTA without screaming when you have to hold down the 'apple' key to right click. And scream again when your hero is pwned. You can't play emulated games, you can't play maplestory, you can't play o2jam, you can't play a hell lot of stuff.
Whats life worth living for? *grins*
rant. rant. rant.
I'm a self-confessed Mac hater. BUT that doesnt mean I'm an Apple hater yeah? I think some of their stuff are pretty cool, i.e. Ipod and their up and coming revolutionary iPhone.
SO. FOR ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO BUY A MAC, relook the purpose of buying it.
If you're designer, advertiser, video editor or artist, tai tai sure! Go ahead and buy it, coz you will find it indispensably useful. BUT for anybody else, you can entrust Andrew with your money at 90701757.
And he'll get for you a laptop that is 100% more powerful then any apple notebooks with the same, equivalent amount of money.
wahaha. With a 10% commission of course... haha.
Fly, on your wings. In my arms....
I'll take you beyond time, across destiny.
There can be only one.
If you are willing, I'll crush your past.
I'll shatter it into a new tomorrow,
Every piece reflecting a glaring beauty.
The pain, and the tears.
Seems all worth it now, as a chapter comes to a close.
Reawakening the latent spirit.
Entrust me with your heart,
believe and you will see -
That nothing is truly worth what it seems.
Because nothing is valued so much, as love.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Yaay to my new (old) Hair!
YAAY!!! I GOT MY HAIR CUT!!!
*screams*
Finally!!! After so long... haha...
Finally recoloured my hair to make it a more even shade, and cut my hair!
Its not my ideal hair yet, (re: 36 months ago), but it still looks better, and MUCH MUCH more easier to style as compared to my previous hair...
sheesh!
Anybody who has seen me in the past 3 weeks know the trouble that I went through to style my hair.
(post recollection: "its so hard to style my hair that I dont even bother to style my hair when I go work now lah!")
haha.
Kazuya : Take care yah? Don't get so upset over something that ineveitably happen. People will always be people, guys will always be guys.. =) *hugs*
ok. Got to zone out or I'll be late for church tmr..
author's command:
HAVE A GREAT LIFE PEEPZ!
xD
*screams*
Finally!!! After so long... haha...
Finally recoloured my hair to make it a more even shade, and cut my hair!
Its not my ideal hair yet, (re: 36 months ago), but it still looks better, and MUCH MUCH more easier to style as compared to my previous hair...
sheesh!
Anybody who has seen me in the past 3 weeks know the trouble that I went through to style my hair.
(post recollection: "its so hard to style my hair that I dont even bother to style my hair when I go work now lah!")
haha.
Kazuya : Take care yah? Don't get so upset over something that ineveitably happen. People will always be people, guys will always be guys.. =) *hugs*
ok. Got to zone out or I'll be late for church tmr..
author's command:
HAVE A GREAT LIFE PEEPZ!
xD
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Opposing Polarities
zZzz... I was at the gym this afternoon, doing my usual resistance routine. Then *creak* the door opened..
A girl stepped in.
Ok. Not like there are no girls in the gym. There are actually more women then men in the SPH gym...
But this girl/women (becoz she doenst look a day over 20), exuded an aura that was frightening. Seriously. If there was any girl that I would be AFRAID of, its a girl like that.
Her face could only be described in one word. Robotic. It actually looked lifeless. No facial expression, no facial lines, no blemishes. She even blinked in sync!
*blink* *blink* *blink* - andrew freaks out.
She had single eyelids that made it seem like she was those scary dolls that open their eyes when they stand up and close when they are down.
ok. enough of that. Get ready for the 999,999,999x more freaky part.
I was doing my bench press, 20 a side, 40 kg in all. (Which I'm quite proud of, considering I'm only 19 years old).
BUT. She came next to me and... WTF.
She took a free barbell with SIXTY, yes boys and girls. SIXTY on each side. And did 8 reps of OLYMPIC presses. (calc: that makes it 120kg on each side, which is actually bench pressing with Nicholas Hui lying in a comfortable position on top of you - not funny.)
$&@*%)^
I was so stunned I didn't even realize I was doing holding my own barbell in the air for 10 seconds...
Even this super hulky guy that was doing motion weights nearby was staring at her.
Got kinda demoralized. And couldnt even complete a superset... =/
(author's note : Andrew is not a chauvinist nor is he a supporter of "demure korean girls are kool" opinion. He's just traumatized that a robot came in and did bench presses next to him. Female robots aren't very common, you must understand.)
But, one advantage is that guys can eat alot more! xD
ok. but there're alot more fatter guys then gals though... =X
I stumbled across the blog of one of my colleagues... (or ex-colleague). We'd always joke around that she was an avid calorie counter, that she couldnt survive on leaves and grapes for her whole life...
I never knew she was an anorexic. And a severe anorexic at that. Two stuns in one day.
She was taking pills, binging, crash dieting... And entry after entry was riddled with the horrendous experiences that she was going through....
Every word hurt... alot, coz I could imagine what she was going through...
It wasn't merely the experiences that she was going through... but the fact that it resulted from the comment of one person.
What one person meant as a joke, was a jagged dagger that cut a deep wound in the heart of another...
She was on the verge of anorexia, skipping meals and the occasional binge. But that comment arrowed at here was the hole in the dam.
After that she swallowed pills after pills and, from what I saw in her blog... severely injured herself...
Why all the unnecessary pain?....
I'm... really sure the chicky cakes would be sad if you won't want to eat them....
No matter how strong girls make themselves out to be, they're still emotionally very fragile... While guys always tend to be the bull-headed ones..
I'm happy being a guy. I like being a guy...
We can be emotional creatures, but one trait in most guys is the ability to shrug away comments and close one eye to situations...
I believe that in this age of feminism, females will soon realize that they can't do everything on their own...
nor can they manipulate guys to do their will.
all they need is love. yah?
I still believe in love,
I still believe in you...
A girl stepped in.
Ok. Not like there are no girls in the gym. There are actually more women then men in the SPH gym...
But this girl/women (becoz she doenst look a day over 20), exuded an aura that was frightening. Seriously. If there was any girl that I would be AFRAID of, its a girl like that.
Her face could only be described in one word. Robotic. It actually looked lifeless. No facial expression, no facial lines, no blemishes. She even blinked in sync!
*blink* *blink* *blink* - andrew freaks out.
She had single eyelids that made it seem like she was those scary dolls that open their eyes when they stand up and close when they are down.
ok. enough of that. Get ready for the 999,999,999x more freaky part.
I was doing my bench press, 20 a side, 40 kg in all. (Which I'm quite proud of, considering I'm only 19 years old).
BUT. She came next to me and... WTF.
She took a free barbell with SIXTY, yes boys and girls. SIXTY on each side. And did 8 reps of OLYMPIC presses. (calc: that makes it 120kg on each side, which is actually bench pressing with Nicholas Hui lying in a comfortable position on top of you - not funny.)
$&@*%)^
I was so stunned I didn't even realize I was doing holding my own barbell in the air for 10 seconds...
Even this super hulky guy that was doing motion weights nearby was staring at her.
Got kinda demoralized. And couldnt even complete a superset... =/
(author's note : Andrew is not a chauvinist nor is he a supporter of "demure korean girls are kool" opinion. He's just traumatized that a robot came in and did bench presses next to him. Female robots aren't very common, you must understand.)
But, one advantage is that guys can eat alot more! xD
ok. but there're alot more fatter guys then gals though... =X
I stumbled across the blog of one of my colleagues... (or ex-colleague). We'd always joke around that she was an avid calorie counter, that she couldnt survive on leaves and grapes for her whole life...
I never knew she was an anorexic. And a severe anorexic at that. Two stuns in one day.
She was taking pills, binging, crash dieting... And entry after entry was riddled with the horrendous experiences that she was going through....
Every word hurt... alot, coz I could imagine what she was going through...
It wasn't merely the experiences that she was going through... but the fact that it resulted from the comment of one person.
What one person meant as a joke, was a jagged dagger that cut a deep wound in the heart of another...
She was on the verge of anorexia, skipping meals and the occasional binge. But that comment arrowed at here was the hole in the dam.
After that she swallowed pills after pills and, from what I saw in her blog... severely injured herself...
Why all the unnecessary pain?....
I'm... really sure the chicky cakes would be sad if you won't want to eat them....
No matter how strong girls make themselves out to be, they're still emotionally very fragile... While guys always tend to be the bull-headed ones..
I'm happy being a guy. I like being a guy...
We can be emotional creatures, but one trait in most guys is the ability to shrug away comments and close one eye to situations...
I believe that in this age of feminism, females will soon realize that they can't do everything on their own...
nor can they manipulate guys to do their will.
all they need is love. yah?
I still believe in love,
I still believe in you...
Chicky Cake!! xD
haha... my dad just came back from Tokyo and he bought back my most favourite cake!
Its ultra cute!
I still remember I fell in love with it when I was a little kid... There is no where else on this entire earth where the cake literally MELTS in your mouth into little crumbly bits.
And the packaging is SOOO cute!!! the top right corner is a picture of how the cake looks like when unwrapped, and the little packages on the right are the cakes!
xD
Its times like this when I'm so happy I've a dad that remembers me... =)
Monday, April 09, 2007
Writer's Constipation. =X
I can't seem to remember what I wanted to write...
Today seems to be a conflux of emotions... up-down-left-right. You know... the feeling you get when you're constipated.
(i.e squeeze! squeeze! AhHH... relief)
hmm.. ok. not exactly that.
Its more like after a very nice game of soccer. Your body feels dead tired, but you're happy.. yeah?
haha...
There are like SO MANY PEOPLE TAGGING MY BLOG RECENTLY!! *screams* haha.. I can't reply to everybody... but generally, most of you guys have been asking me whatsup with my "schizo" post..
Well, you see. (*takes on a mysterious undertone*) This, is not really Andrew. This is actually... Andrew.
rofl... I think I've actually developed an online persona to overcome my writer's block. This person is loud, brash, talks about anything he likes in the world, shows no remorse, but is avidly emotional...
Sometimes I wonder if he even knows what he's doing...
Anywayz, enough about myself.
I think I've to set myself a weekly resolution of 5 goals... or I'll lose track of what I need to do -
1) Somebody's birthday is COMING!!!
2) Clock a total of at least 10 km this week
3) Clock a total of at least 350 type 3 pushups this week
4) Recap on friggin dreamweaver
5) Create 1 more new sound on the synth.
ok.. I think the second last one is a bit hard.
oh.. bleah. I just ate a donut..
urgh..
I'm suppose to be going on a diet. wahahaha... x)
Today seems to be a conflux of emotions... up-down-left-right. You know... the feeling you get when you're constipated.
(i.e squeeze! squeeze! AhHH... relief)
hmm.. ok. not exactly that.
Its more like after a very nice game of soccer. Your body feels dead tired, but you're happy.. yeah?
haha...
There are like SO MANY PEOPLE TAGGING MY BLOG RECENTLY!! *screams* haha.. I can't reply to everybody... but generally, most of you guys have been asking me whatsup with my "schizo" post..
Well, you see. (*takes on a mysterious undertone*) This, is not really Andrew. This is actually... Andrew.
rofl... I think I've actually developed an online persona to overcome my writer's block. This person is loud, brash, talks about anything he likes in the world, shows no remorse, but is avidly emotional...
Sometimes I wonder if he even knows what he's doing...
Anywayz, enough about myself.
I think I've to set myself a weekly resolution of 5 goals... or I'll lose track of what I need to do -
1) Somebody's birthday is COMING!!!
2) Clock a total of at least 10 km this week
3) Clock a total of at least 350 type 3 pushups this week
4) Recap on friggin dreamweaver
5) Create 1 more new sound on the synth.
ok.. I think the second last one is a bit hard.
oh.. bleah. I just ate a donut..
urgh..
I'm suppose to be going on a diet. wahahaha... x)
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
I've got a big head! and small arms!! x)
haha.. I just came back from watching "Meet the Robinsons" with my friends... super funny!
Lolz..
Dinosaur : "I've a big head, and little arms"
Based on Walt Disney's famous saying, "Keep moving forward". Lol.. guess that phrase rang shockwaves in my mind throughout the show... (albeit hilariously).
Its time to throw the past away!
=)
'Newayz! PHOENYX!! You very xing zai le huo leh hor. People get turmoil already you seem to automatically know when to appear hor.. hahahaha
Hmmm... Got alot to blog, but will spread my stuff to blog throughout this 3 days..
LONG WEEKEND!! x)
[author demands you to enjoy the video above. - instructions : Laugh, and fall of your chair. x)]
.. missing ya.. =)
"my conscience is clear" -> omg! Crystal Clear!
I almost vomitted blood when I saw his entry.
"my conscience is clear."
TEH PENG ALSO MORE CLEAR LAH!!! wtf.
You're right. Its a battle you cannot win. Because you are the one that forced me to become like this in the first place.
You dont even have to admit defeat. I don't even have to open my mouth for people to know what you did and what I endured.
Nevertheless. I'm glad you realize that all this while, I was trying to boost your ego.
Tuesday was the last straw. I thought I could forgive you. But you blew it.
Infidelity is your middle name.
Lies is your drag costume.
Where is your conscience when you went flirted with people behind my back?
Where is your consicence when you lied straight to my face?
Where is your conscience when you left that night?
You dont even have a conscience. Thats why its crystal clear.
Jeez. Fucking loser.
"my conscience is clear."
TEH PENG ALSO MORE CLEAR LAH!!! wtf.
You're right. Its a battle you cannot win. Because you are the one that forced me to become like this in the first place.
You dont even have to admit defeat. I don't even have to open my mouth for people to know what you did and what I endured.
Nevertheless. I'm glad you realize that all this while, I was trying to boost your ego.
Tuesday was the last straw. I thought I could forgive you. But you blew it.
Infidelity is your middle name.
Lies is your drag costume.
Where is your conscience when you went flirted with people behind my back?
Where is your consicence when you lied straight to my face?
Where is your conscience when you left that night?
You dont even have a conscience. Thats why its crystal clear.
Jeez. Fucking loser.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
- repercussion -
I really hate you. And you deserve every little bit of it.
But I on account that I loved you before, I deleted the previous entry. I don't want to ruin your life. And I don't want an enemy on my clean record.
... revenge is not really my style... thats why you hardly see me blog about it.
I was insanely furious last night. But I still managed to give an impassionate, apathatic look.
I don't want you close to me anymore. Just... go away... for a long, long time...
Go find someone who will truly love you. If you can find one that will love you even half as much as I did, you'll have to thank your luck.
My friends believe I made the right decision.
My family believe I made the right decision.
I finally believe I made the right decision.
nope. as egoistical as this may sound. You're not worthy of me.
I only chose you because of your personality. If you have failed in that aspect, I really couldn't be bothered about you anymore.
You lie to your friends, parents, and god knows who. It will come around. I sincerely hope you will be punished one day with a reflection of yourself.
maybe then you'll realize the pain i suffered.
bye Dominic.
But I on account that I loved you before, I deleted the previous entry. I don't want to ruin your life. And I don't want an enemy on my clean record.
... revenge is not really my style... thats why you hardly see me blog about it.
I was insanely furious last night. But I still managed to give an impassionate, apathatic look.
I don't want you close to me anymore. Just... go away... for a long, long time...
Go find someone who will truly love you. If you can find one that will love you even half as much as I did, you'll have to thank your luck.
My friends believe I made the right decision.
My family believe I made the right decision.
I finally believe I made the right decision.
nope. as egoistical as this may sound. You're not worthy of me.
I only chose you because of your personality. If you have failed in that aspect, I really couldn't be bothered about you anymore.
You lie to your friends, parents, and god knows who. It will come around. I sincerely hope you will be punished one day with a reflection of yourself.
maybe then you'll realize the pain i suffered.
bye Dominic.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
"it not what you have done wrong, but what you think is right that is hurting us."
-quoted from my friend's parents-
-quoted from my friend's parents-
I pondered it for a few hours, feeling a mixture of anger, bewilderment and sadness... Its hard to comprehend what a homosexual goes through without being one. But its harder to comprehend how much the people who love him will suffer.
True, "its not what you have done wrong", most people will feel comforted, knowing that their parents are not passing judgment and imposing moral boundaries onto them. After all, homosexuals innately know that, like it or not, its virtually impossible for them to truly like a girl.
- When impossibility is a factor, the lines between morality and immorality disappears.
But the second part was kinda like a wack-over-the-head thing for me. I realized that throughout all these years, I write articles that argue that homosexuality is an acceptable lifestyle and homosexuality is morally acceptable; but all these time, I never really considered how the people around me are affected...
"... but what you think is right is hurting us."
How much hurt do we cause the people who love us?
Imagine, a kid, born in a mafia family, grew up with the mafias, learnt every trick of the trade... but he tells his parents one day that he wants to be a cop, that he wants to fight injustice and crime.
He betrays his family. As much as his parents love him, they can't change his mind, because its morally indistinguishable. However, the shun they will get from their friends and relatives, people gossiping behind their backs...
they'll never be able to lift up their heads high in public again...
everybody gets hurt....
nobody can stop the hurt... in fact, nobody will be able to stop it, because AJs will always be the minority....
well... I guess...
=/
Monday, April 02, 2007
Talkback. Talk - Back.
BzzT. I'm back! After a week long break of blogging, blogger finally decided to let my blog be seen on the computers of two-legged homo sapiens, and give me a passport back into the human realm.
Hmmm. I've got so much to blog, but I just can't remember what to blog about already. jeez ~
Oh yah. Other then the fact that my hair is getting from unruly to ruthless. Its so hard to style my hair nowadays that I dont even bother to style my hair when I go out nowadays *(for those who know me well enough, I ALWAYS used to style my hair everywhere I go.)
darn... I have to get my hair fixed again. Maybe Toa Payoh Hub doesn't work well on my hair.
I'll have to return back to my fav shop at Jurong Central...
Sometimes... I wonder if I'm really AJ. Coz I'm like some sort of mismatched puzzle in the sophisticated AJ culture.
I embody the personality of a 100% straight guy. Mindset, thinking, activities and physical habits. I'm still yet to find an AJ that is similar to me in terms of personality...
Frankly, when people say guys are simple-minded, (referring to straight guys) they're generally quite right. And not in a bad way either!
I really don't get it when I see so many of my AJ friends talk about people around them - in the negative way. Its really depressing when I hear them rave and rant about everything that seems to revolve around affecting them...
.. you know... you never know if... they might be talking about you to other people as well...
I follow, by heart, and I hold my belief close to my heart - that you should do to others what you would want others to do to you.
or a confucious would say - do not do unto others what you would not want others to do to you...
Its a simple logic, but it makes life beautiful. It gives people no reason to bitch about me, or to back stab me, simply because doing so would result in a massive surge of guilt.
People revel in titles like "Bitch Queen", or "I'm a bitch, do you care?"
Like no? I don't care that you're a bitch, only that people like you will realize its very difficult to find a close friend, simply because - its too risky and dangerous.
sigh... I'm tired... I'm really tired... In a span of 3 days, I've heard seven different people bitch to me about friends, working colleagues, their dog, parent and everything under the sun.
They're my friends, truly... and I guess this is their way of showing me how close I am to them, and how much I mean to them (that I can keep a secret).
But... Its starting to wear me down...
I miss the times where I spent with my close, straight, guy friends, talking about stuff that sets you thinking...
stuff like... "What would happen if your parents went bankrupt?", or "How would your dream house look like?"
to things like Russell Peter's corney jokes and dissecting Maslow's Hierachy of Needs.
People I used to be able to crap with for hours are gone now... People like Desmond in primary school, Chong Loon in secondary school and Timothy in poly...
... really, really long for something intellectual, instead of raving, self deprecating words...
I envy straight guys, in a way... They don't have to compare themselves with people, simply because they do not understand how the girl's mind works...
some obnoxiously ugly guy can go up to a pretty girl in a bar and say, "Hey girl, wanna have some fun tonight?" - he gets slapped, and he goes back to his friends and say...
"jeez guys, I think its my breath... *sniffs* urgh.. it stinks! Lets try it another day."
bottomline is, there's a beautiful gray area in between guys and girls that provide a mystery that appreciates each individual's worth.
Be it personality or looks, each has a chance.
not.. so much in the AJ circle. Its never "love at first sight", rather "lust at first sight" and later, upon realizing the cost of loving, they break off and pretend nothing ever happened.
I guess I'm pretty much passive in nature... I'd usually wait for another person to make the first step before I'd do anything... I hate making decisions, and I usually like to be quiet... finding the "awkward silence" moments really beautiful...
I always have the "ideal" type of guy..... but he's always in my reflection or in my dream... but then again, I guess its because I've hardly found anybody close to me...
except him......
Hmmm. I've got so much to blog, but I just can't remember what to blog about already. jeez ~
Oh yah. Other then the fact that my hair is getting from unruly to ruthless. Its so hard to style my hair nowadays that I dont even bother to style my hair when I go out nowadays *(for those who know me well enough, I ALWAYS used to style my hair everywhere I go.)
darn... I have to get my hair fixed again. Maybe Toa Payoh Hub doesn't work well on my hair.
I'll have to return back to my fav shop at Jurong Central...
Sometimes... I wonder if I'm really AJ. Coz I'm like some sort of mismatched puzzle in the sophisticated AJ culture.
I embody the personality of a 100% straight guy. Mindset, thinking, activities and physical habits. I'm still yet to find an AJ that is similar to me in terms of personality...
Frankly, when people say guys are simple-minded, (referring to straight guys) they're generally quite right. And not in a bad way either!
I really don't get it when I see so many of my AJ friends talk about people around them - in the negative way. Its really depressing when I hear them rave and rant about everything that seems to revolve around affecting them...
.. you know... you never know if... they might be talking about you to other people as well...
I follow, by heart, and I hold my belief close to my heart - that you should do to others what you would want others to do to you.
or a confucious would say - do not do unto others what you would not want others to do to you...
Its a simple logic, but it makes life beautiful. It gives people no reason to bitch about me, or to back stab me, simply because doing so would result in a massive surge of guilt.
People revel in titles like "Bitch Queen", or "I'm a bitch, do you care?"
Like no? I don't care that you're a bitch, only that people like you will realize its very difficult to find a close friend, simply because - its too risky and dangerous.
sigh... I'm tired... I'm really tired... In a span of 3 days, I've heard seven different people bitch to me about friends, working colleagues, their dog, parent and everything under the sun.
They're my friends, truly... and I guess this is their way of showing me how close I am to them, and how much I mean to them (that I can keep a secret).
But... Its starting to wear me down...
I miss the times where I spent with my close, straight, guy friends, talking about stuff that sets you thinking...
stuff like... "What would happen if your parents went bankrupt?", or "How would your dream house look like?"
to things like Russell Peter's corney jokes and dissecting Maslow's Hierachy of Needs.
People I used to be able to crap with for hours are gone now... People like Desmond in primary school, Chong Loon in secondary school and Timothy in poly...
... really, really long for something intellectual, instead of raving, self deprecating words...
I envy straight guys, in a way... They don't have to compare themselves with people, simply because they do not understand how the girl's mind works...
some obnoxiously ugly guy can go up to a pretty girl in a bar and say, "Hey girl, wanna have some fun tonight?" - he gets slapped, and he goes back to his friends and say...
"jeez guys, I think its my breath... *sniffs* urgh.. it stinks! Lets try it another day."
bottomline is, there's a beautiful gray area in between guys and girls that provide a mystery that appreciates each individual's worth.
Be it personality or looks, each has a chance.
not.. so much in the AJ circle. Its never "love at first sight", rather "lust at first sight" and later, upon realizing the cost of loving, they break off and pretend nothing ever happened.
I guess I'm pretty much passive in nature... I'd usually wait for another person to make the first step before I'd do anything... I hate making decisions, and I usually like to be quiet... finding the "awkward silence" moments really beautiful...
I always have the "ideal" type of guy..... but he's always in my reflection or in my dream... but then again, I guess its because I've hardly found anybody close to me...
except him......
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